Yesterday on twitter there was a meme called #calmmovielines. Basically, people would take dramatic or exciting lines from movies and try to make them bland or non sequitor (in 140 characters or less, of course!). I found this to be extremely amusing. Listed below are the ones I came up with. Which is your favorite?

  1. Donny, kindly refrain from speaking until I finish my train of thought.  (The Big Lebowski)
  2. Show me the financial instruments you intend to provide.  (Jerry Maguire)
  3. In the land of the blind, the one eyed man has no depth perception.  (Minority Report)
  4. Yeah, I stole the paintings. What are you gonna do about it?  (Thomas Crown Affair)
  5. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want somebody in a bowl of rice ready to hand him some soy sauce.  (Pulp Fiction)
  6. ABC- Always be closing. Unless you feel like taking a nap.  (Glengarry Glenn Ross)
  7. The name’s Bond, James Bond. But you can call me “Jimmy”. (James Bond)
  8. On the one hand, corruption helps us get oil. On the other hand, it undermines our democratic ideals.  (Syriana)
  9. Juliet is cute, but her personality is blah compared to Rosalind.  (Romeo & Juliet)
  10. Medical school bores me. Let’s take this bike for a spin in the countryside.  (The Motorcycle Diaries)
  11. I would enjoy burgers from whichever restaurant is most convenient right now  (Harold & Kumar go to White Castle)
  12. You are one aesthetically challenged extraterrestrial!  (Predator)
  13. Luke….I am your second cousin’s step-father!  (Star Wars)
  14. yippee kay yay, you unpleasant individual!  (Die Hard)
  15. They may take our lives, but they will never eat our haggis!  (Braveheart)